Thursday, January 5, 2012

Quiet Desperation

I hate backseat drivers don't you? No matter how hard you try their annoying voices are always in the back of your head-literally. I have two adult children. They've transitioned from asking me "are we there yet?" over and over to asking "are you sure you can park here legally" over and over. Just as I did when they were toddlers, I ignore them and do what I must to accomplish my goal of that moment. So as we begin a shiny new year, my question for you is are you letting backseat drivers chart the course of your life? I had a rough 2011. That's why I didn't blog for 4 months. I had a major illness. I was in an incredibly stressful job. My oldest son got married. I published my fifth book and a guy threw me over a chair. (Yes, at a Janet Jackson concert and yes, he regrets it big time but that's another story.) But I just kept chugging along the same Indy 500 course because the back seat drivers in my life insisted I keep up appearances...Be strong. Be a role model. Cry alone. Don't take any risks in this unending recession. You're a motivational speaker what will people think if you are sad?
In the midst of that madness, I recalled a quote by psychologist, Harriet Lerner, "Most people prefer lives of quiet desperation, to the possible embarrassment of trying and failing to realize their heart's desire."
Quiet desperation is not caused by listening to the voices of your instinct, it is caused by listening to the voices at Happy Hour, in the break room, on television, or lying in bed next to you who say it's better to live in chronic spiritual agony doing something you hate than fail trying something you love.
I know thru experience that they are wrong. You cannot be purpose driven without purpose. How you make the change is up to you. I'm writing only to encourage you to boldly explore life beyond the leash of others' fears. No matter how far you've gone, I promise there is more available for you. There will always be back seat drivers, but you will always have the keys and the compass for your true destiny.
The only thing unchanged about the life-the "relatively" great life-I referenced in the second paragraph is my oldest son and his wife will celebrate their first anniversary next month. Oh, there is one more thing, I'm happy. I write better when I'm happy. :-)
Smooches and Happy 2012!
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